Mini LiveBlog: The Hills II

Once again, I am lame and for lack of intrigue, we were out getting Ben & Jerry's for my roommate's birthday. Then it was a like mad dash back when we realized it was 9:15 and The Hills was half over.

So, Brody's wearing the shirt that everyone's brother had in the third grade: blue and white striped t-shirt with a thicker yellow stripe going across the chest. Britney Spear's "Gimme More" is playing. Not to pull anybody out of the moment but: that song was released two weeks ago and the production delay on this show is...four months-ish? On the other hand, Britney Spears lost custody of Sean Preston and the other one today, so I'd bet that would take you out of the moment anyway. Or the repressed memories of the VMAs. Thanks, MTV.

Cut to Lo, like, inhaling some guy's face (the helpful naming subtitle: "Brody's Friend." What if frat parties were like that? You turned and you saw "Jess: Katherine's Friend" and "Dan: Random ATO" with, like, "ATO Paint Party" in the left hand corner).

And back over to Brody and LC debating whether or not Brody wants a birthday kiss. Audrina stares at them? It's unclear who she's actually looking at. My money is on them kissing after last week's and like every other week's "next week" in which they kissed. THEY SHOCKINGLY KISS. Audrina has not the decency to do that awkward "Hey, I was just looking over there! And wow, something's caught my interest over here! Because my eyes are just shifty like that!" thing we all do during class when somebody sees you looking at them.

Lo, drunkenly, "You kissed Brody." Ding, ding, ding! Correct!

Heidi and Spencer out to dinner for the anniversary of the apocalypse. Spencer's gross furry beard is coming in very scraggly. He also appears to have forgotten how to blink. I feel like they had dinner in this same booth like three weeks ago. Somebody calls all "Heidi, where the hell are you" because apparently Elodie quit and, in a final bitch move, told Heidi she had the event covered. Heidi says she needs to go; Spencer says she doesn't love him; I hit my head several times on my desk. Business as usual!

Lo hates Justin-Bobby. This is not shocking because Justin-Bobby is gross and obnoxious. Audrina gets all huffy about LC and Lo not liking Justin-Bobby, which is ridiculous, because as Lauren so wonderously said "homeboy wore combat boots to the beach."

LC walks out of the room to go out on the balcony. Audrina leaves. Presumably to just another hotel room, or perhaps her own room, or a vending machine down the hall. It's very dramatic, though, so you can bet she's going with a Snickers and a regular soda.

Brody defends Justin-Bobby to a slightly inebriated Lauren on a gigantic couch. They kind of argue-flirt, and then flirt, and then kiss again. And then we get a very lengthy shot of the strip in Las Vegas with music that's way too Grey's for this show.

"Coming up this season": Sad Jen Bunney sends Lauren a text (a text!), we get to start passing out Clue scorecards to figure out just who started the sex tape rumors (SPENCER in the SPENCER with the SPENCER), and my girl Whitney and Lauren go to NYC for Fashion Week. Most important, though, Heidi and LC. Have. It. Out. I'm legitimately pumped.

...continue reading this post

Procrastination! Procrastination!

I was procrastinating doing work earlier by doing the usual blog reading, saw this, and thought "Hey, I could do some more procrastination!"

1. Hardcover or paperback, and why?
Paperback...hardcovers are: too heavy, too expensive, and I hate the way the cover always slips off. I don't have time to deal with, like, a book wrapper.

2. If I were to own a book shop I would call it…
Kitty's Books. Or maybe Ginger's Books. With nice dark stained wood countertops (like an old bar) and a huge glass window out front with Kitty's Books painted in really distinguished type with a big outline of a tiger.

3. My favorite quote from a book (mention the title) is…
Have to go with ol' libertarian stand-by: "And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual" -East of Eden

4. The author (alive or deceased) I would love to have lunch with would be…
Oh man, I don't know. I'm very one-shot-y with authors. I mean, I would love to meet any of the following: Margaret Atwood, Henry James, Kazuo Ishiguro, Jane Austen, and a ton of others. However, I feel like I would end up making a fool of myself (for evidence see the past week: spilling Diet Coke in bag, locking keys in dorm room, falling down on the way to class). I really think it would be interesting to meet J.K. Rowling, because I basically grew up with her characters and would have a lot to say. Or Chris Moore because I looooove Lamb.

5. If I was going to a deserted island and could only bring one book, except from the SAS survival guide, it would be…
I honestly don't think I could handle reading one book over and over again until I died. That wouldn't work. I jump around way too much for that. I mean, I feel like P & P would keep me occupied for a long time, same with All the King's Men or, maybe, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. I mean. The footnotes.

6. I would love someone to invent a bookish gadget that…
Would allow me time to not feel guilty for reading non-school related books during school.

7. The smell of an old book reminds me of…
Dolley Madison Library. Or my the closet in my grandparents' garage where they kept their overflow books. Either of those. I love any smell that reminds me of that sort of Central Florida dried pine, pleasantly musty smell at my grandparents' house.

8. If I could be the lead character in a book (mention the title), it would be…
This is a tad difficult because, while I'd like to be in the wizarding world of Harry Potter, I wouldn't exactly want to be Harry Potter. On the opposite side of that, sordid past undertones aside, Daisy Miller seems like she'd be fun to be except see: dying. Same for every other James character. And every other book I've read in the past two years. So, I don't know, either Elizabeth Bennett or Nancy Drew. Nancy is after all a fabulous ice-cold bitch who carries a gun sometimes and always looks becoming, so that might be cool.

9. The most overestimated book of all times is…
I don't know about everybody else, but Faulkner has a special place in my mind, and that is at the temple where it pulses in migraine-ish proportions whenever it is read.

10. I hate it when a book…
Starts out so strong and then just disappoints me or goes all out crazy in the end. Hey there, The Good Soldier! Thanks for popping in!

...continue reading this post