LIVEBLOG: Cavs-Pistons

9:56- Okay, we've got six to go in the third; Cavs 54, Pistons 49. Varejao and his bouncing ringlets of hair enter the game. This feels like more of the international-may-as-well-be-soccer influence waving around in the Motor City air like the Brazilian flag. It's all very reminiscent of Shirley Temple.

10:00- Shirley gets stuffed twice by the Pistons.

10:03- LeBron decides to pass through three defenders on the baseline to Shirley. This is ill-advised. The Pistons respond with their own tomfoolery by letting Chris "The Healing Powers of Playing with a Good Team" Webber touch the ball. Shirley rolls around on the ground and picks it up.

10:07- Well, the Pistons are only trailing by one and LeBron has only taken one shot in the third. It seems like the magical word "correlation" may apply here.

10:11- Daniel Gibson sinks a three- he's a rookie, apparently, and looks like it. Richard Hamilton makes me cry a bit on the inside. He was a great player the Wizards decided wasn't good enough, who then joined the Pistons and led them to an NBA championship. Also used to play for the Wizards: Larry Hughes, Chris Webber, and Rasheed Wallace. ARGH. Rip makes his two free throws to tie it up and the TNT scoreboard makes its weird chime noise...where are we? In a pinball machine?

10:16- What I Really, REALLY Want to See: Knocked Up. What I REALLY, REALLY Never Want to See Again: Another ad for Tyler Perry's "House of Pain." The playoffs have been a HOUSE OF PAIN having to watch those ads. Gary Sheffield is at the game wearing a black fisherman's hat.

10:19- Delfino nails a three. His hair constantly perplexes me. It somehow stays so flippy and good. Billups fouls Shirley. Oh, Chaunce. He goes to the line, hits both. Chauncey makes up for it by going down the floor and banking a three. Cavs 67, Pistons 65 with 9:20 to go in the fourth. This series has the distinction of my not really caring one way or the other. I wanted Chicago to pull a Red Sox on Detroit, and I was ambivalent about the Nets-Cavs series.

10:23- Donyell Marshall misses a three. That seems familiar, I wonder why? I also wonder why Donyell continues to fight a losing battle against his hairline with cornrows. And why there isn't an apostrophe in Donyell. It seems like it should have one. Don'Yell. Nevermind, just kidding.

10:26- Each time I see the promotion for The Closer, I want to watch that show less and less. "THEY MURDERED MY SON." This does not pique my interest after the 8,000,000th time. Nor does the phrase "The drama of solving a crime comes from finding justice for someone's who's seeking it." What about those who aren't seeking it? What then? While I always have an interest in watching Kevin Bacon in Footloose, I don't feel the same way towards his wife.

10:28- Rasheed nails a filthy shot and then gets to bop Shirley on the head after Shirley's called, correctly, for a travel. Rasheed! DRAINS a three. Just filthy. Kasey Kahne, who always looks like he's just come in from making toys on the North Pole, is appropriately in a Vitamin Water commercial on some snowy mountain. Nowhere near as good as the ad with David Ortiz and

10:34- LeBron passes to the Pistons' bench. "The Pistons just have so many options to go to"...EVEN THEIR BENCH IS OPEN! Oh wait. Rip Hamilton hits a nice shot; Pistons 74, Cavs 69 with 4:57 to go.

10:38- Well, ask and ye shall receive. New and different commercial for The Closer. Still looks dumb, though. Tayshaun "Go-Go Gadget Arms!" Prince jumps up, misses, loses the ball, and almost wastes a great block by Antonio McDyess by trying to lose it again. Rasheed gets called for his third after LeBron pushes him. The quality of officiating maintains its remarkable clarity, consistency, and sharpness.

10:43- Shot to the Pistons bench where Delfino is giving a very sketchy, very Edgerrin James "Sup, baaaaabbbyyy, you know, sup, sup, you know" undress-you-with-his-eyes look. Clearly I was just blinded by the hair. Okay. I don't understand the

10:51- INTERNET FRUSTRATION left me unable to comment there for several minutes. So, suddenly, there are 32 seconds left and the Cavs are up 76-75, Detroit ball.

10:54- Delfino and the Sketch comes in for McDyess. Rasheed, nasty as always, hits a fall away over LeBron, giving the Pistons a one point lead with 24 seconds to go.

10:56- Doug Collins appears to be growing straw out of his head- Marv Albert and Steve Kerr, however, have looked the exact same way for the past decade. LeBron gets the ball and holds the ball at the top of the key with Rip guarding him. He drives looking for the foul, doesn't get it because Rip is no fool, and misses the shot. Larry Hughes, another fine Wizard, gets the rebound and misses the follow up, as would any good Washington Wizard not named Gilbert. Shirley follows suit. Detroit picks up that rebound and Mike Brown FLIPS OUT. He gets a T, Billups sinks them, and Rasheed goes to the line.

Detroit wins. Today's lesson: LeBron is only the next Michael Jordan if the last MJ was a choke artist and I missed it. Unless LeBron starts dropping triple-doubles and scoring 40 a night, I'm writing him off and waiting for Kevin Durant.

Final Score: Detroit Pistons 79, Cleveland Cavaliers 76. Series: Detroit 2, Cleveland 0. Looks like the state of Michigan has teamed up with the state of Florida to kick Ohio's ass this year.