LIVEBLOG: GOP Debate 3

7:02- Tommy Thompson needs to stop with the hair dye. Like, tonight.

7:03- Oh, Mitt Romney. I'm not ashamed to say that I think you're hot. Rudy Giuliani: "I'm Rudy Giuliani and your state's motto 'Live Free or Die' is a good one for our time.'" That's why, slowly but surely, I have become pro-Giuliani.

7:07- Mitt's tie is blue. And dreamy. Rudy Giuliani is wearing the power tie. McCain's got, like, a candy-cane tie on with red and extremely pale blue. Brownback has a pale lime green tie on- take it back to Vineyard Vines, there champ.

7:09- Dinner!

7:20- Okay, back. Jim Gilmore should just go home. He sounds a bit like Foghorn Leghorn, admittedly not as much as ol' Fred Thompson the Looming Spector of the Christian Right.

7:23- It's Immigration Time. Tancredo rightly recognizes that dark phantom of the night, that ghastly terror, that creeping destroyer of everything that we hold dear in this life and in the sweet, sweet hereafter: BILINGUALISM. Calm down there, Kipling.

7:33- Sam clarifies that he's been in Congress for a long time. Thanks, Sam, for correcting the immigration problem. Tommy Thompson's face fascinates me in a way that I cannot fully comprehend. It's a bit like Jack Nicholson's face in the first Tim Burton Batman movie.

7:37- McCain is FRIENDS with that devil BILINGUALISM.

7:38- "We don't know what Fred Thompson is either." Other than the Manhattan DA who sounds a lot like Foghorn Leghorn. "I cut taxes for the people of Virginia"...and increased the spending! And threw the budget out the window! Go home, Jim.

7:44- CNN is having all kinds of problems with the sound here. There's like little buzzers going off and volume changes and snaps and crackles and pops.

7:46- Religious Crusades. Rudy? Still a heathen pluralist. Mitt? Still Mormon. Brownback squints at us about our universe's God.

7:50- Giuliani agrees with scientists on global warming, sees it as it as an issue of national security both with climate change and terrorist funding, and proposes an Apollo-type, bipartisan project for global warming/energy reform solutions. Mitt agrees.

7:53- Take Ron Paul away. The stutter is w-w-way totoo much for m-m-me. In fact, take everybody away except for Mitt, Rudy, McCain, and possibly Huckabee.

7:57- Gays in the military: Ron Paul loves individuals. Huckabee dances around the fact that he totally doesn't like gays. Rudy dances around the fact that he totally likes gays. Mitt dances around the fact that he changes his mind on everything. McCain doesn't dance.

8:00- What would you do with George W. Bush? It would have been ill-advised to ask this question last night. "BURN HIM!" "THE PLAGUE!" "PIT OF LIONS!" "PIT OF GAYS!" and so on. Tommy Thompson wouldn't send him to the UN. Heh. (Okay, Tom-Tom, that was funny, but, still, go home). Tancredo gets pissy about Karl Rove.

8:04- Huckabee is very honest and self-effacing about the loss of credibility of the GOP. Brownback wishes his accent sounded like that.

8:08- It's halftime in New Hampshire. The Skeletor, or "Larry King," suddenly appears on my television screen, I lose my sight for a few moments.

8:15- Damn, the debate cuts right to the freaking chase with an extremely pretty lady in her twenties named Erin Flanagan whose brother died in Iraq eight days before he was supposed to come home. McCain hops up, calls Erin ma'am, and admits that the war was mismanaged.

8:19- Giuliani can hop too, John.

8:23- "Can a conservative platform coexist with a conservationist platform?" Gov. Gilmore: No, let me talk about something else.

8:28- Discussion about health care makes my eyes bleed, thus necessitating health care. It is a vicious cycle.

8:32- "What is the most pressing moral question facing us today?" Huckabee says that pro-lifers haven't extended out their love of life to all people, especially homeless children and old people. Rudy, citing RONALD REAGAN, says that spreading American ideals is the biggest moral obligation we have. Brownback runs out to slap Giuliani around over pro-life. GO HOME, SAM.

8:39- Some lame ass twentysomething asks Mitt about flip-flopping, but he says it like "flipppp-flopppinnngg" with this little smarmy grin. A girl with geeky glasses looks on all "I would totally tap that" as Mitt tries to anounce his love of immigrants. Jesus, Tancredo, ALMOST ALL OF EUROPE IS BILINGUAL. IT HASN'T BURNED DOWN YET. CHINA, RUSSIA, CANADA, THE UNITED STATES! BILINGUAL. McCain: "Muchas gracias, Congressman." Oh, sir, you deserve a hearty handshake and a pat on the back. He gives a stirring testiment to the immigrants of this nation and the Hispanic-Americans who live, work, and fight for the country.

8:45- George W. Bush's They let McCain get on a bit of a roll, there. He promises to veto any pork-barrel spending. Tancredo sounds like he's in the eighth grade giving a presentation off note cards that the girl who sits next to him made last night and practically threw at him with an exasperated sigh and an eyeroll.

8:50- STOP ASKING TANCREDO QUESTIONS ABOUT IMMIGRANTS. Rudy cites Abraham Lincoln, because he is a pimp, basically saying that to be an American is to love and believe in freedom.

8:57- Duncan of the Comb-Over trashes moderates after a woman who's from Hollis (can't think of anyone being from Hollis without thinking of "Christmas in Hollis") asks how the GOP can appeal to moderates. Romney gets very chatty; Giuliani capitalizes on it by saying "Well, ma'am, the answer to your question is to nominate me." Ha! Well, that wraps it up. Time to watch Dirty Dancing.